As Herman Munster stands poised to complete his purchase of the US electorate, we Republicans are looking forward to four years of broken promises and two faced policies undermining this great country. Instead of letting a Kerry Presidency get you down, here's my guide to not only surviving the next four years, but to enjoy them to the fullest!
1.) First, starting Jan. 21st 2005, send an email to the White House everyday. Address it to "President Herman Munster", and let him know only that "Kerry Sucks.". It's legal, it's your right, and the same message from several thousand people every day of a Kerry Presidency would be good for this idiots ego.
2.) Whenever you make large purchases (like big screen TV's and your new Mercedes), wear a t-shirt saying "You're waiting on me because you voted for Kerry.".
3.) Drop a "Schwarzenegger 08'" bumper sticker on the back of your BMW.
4.) Laugh at every Democrat you meet for the next four years. Break into historical laughter, mutter "Kerry? Kerry!" and just walk away.
5.) Leave 30% tips whenever you eat out, pinned with a note "Vote Republican 08'". After all, if Kerry can buy the Democrats vote, why can't we?
6.) When you are standing in lines for gasoline, wear your "My car won't run on Ketchup! Republicans 08'" t-shirt.
7.) Make certain to catch every single thing Teresa Heinz kerry says... it's certain to be a riot.
8.) Boycott Heinz ketchup and condiments. Bankrupt this company. After four years of higher taxes, a draft and other failed Kerry policies, make certain they've got nothing to look forward to when theyre voted out in 08.
Feel free to add to this list. Any anti-Bush stuff in this blog will be deleted, and you'll probably be blacklisted.